I have been told a many time in my life that I like to make this as hard as possible for myself. This time is no exception...
I have known David since I was 15 and to be honest I never really took a second glance at him. When we were 16 I did discover his sense of humor was unlike anyone's I've ever encountered and then I decided he was a babe. So what did I do when I was 19? Slept with one of his friends, Kody. Not just once but for 6 months out of my life and this is a man that would forever and always been the one in question. Or maybe a surprise to others that I would "date" him. I hyphened date cause I dont like to but such a strong title on a sex buddy.
One night there were a lot of us driving out to a bonfire and I found myself inbetween David and Kody in the backseat of a car. There was a blanket over all of us and Kody and myself were holding hands. All the sudden I felt this long, hard hand sliding up my leg from the other side of my body... it was David! So, not wanting to make anything weird I just decided to hold both of their hands in secret, from everyone. I guess you could say this was the moment I knew that David wanted a little more than "friendship" from me.
Years and Years pass, again, without a thought of David. Then, Lucas and David because chums up here in the good ol' SLC. So, one night as I walked into Lucas's house I was shocked to see David, hanging out with the living room. Apperently he was sleeping on Lucas's couch while he found somewhere to live. I did really enjoy flirting with David but never was there sexual appeal.
Lucas left for Alaska for the first time that year and I swore him off for good (HA). David became Bretts new roommate, in Lucas's old house.
One night about 2 weeks before Lucas was going to come home from Alaska David called me and invited me for a beer at A Bar Named Sue. Not thinking twice, I went. I enjoyed being around David, his soothing voice with his giant body and semi girlie lisp. I drank a little more that night then I expected... a retired navy man kept on buying me shots. Being protective, or maybe horny looking back now, David insisted that I come back to his house until I sobered up.
When stumbled back to his house and laid in his bed, Lucas's bed. He was making me foot puppets on the ceiling and the next thing I knew my dress was off and my mouth was down south. To be honest I really dont remember a lot from that night but I do remember asking him not to tell Lucas and how sorry I was. David was not sorry. I was very weird and uncomfortable after that and I fled his house. David was practically running after me so he could walk me back to my car. I SUCKED DAVIDS WIENER! WHAT?! I feel like I was seduced by his sense of humor and thats not fair! I was in love with Lucas?! How sick was I that I just did that act to David but also in Lucas's bed? Fucked up...
Well, I found out not to long ago that David did tell Lucas about me giving him head the very next day. It was worded something like, "Hey Lucas, Jess gave me a rad blowjob last night.".
Rad blow job? I guess that a complement? I never could really understand why Lucas wanted 2 months to see me when he came home from Alaska that last winter but I sure as hell know why now.
Anyways, this whole story has led me up to this one I am about to tell, I slept with David.
Again, seduced by his humor and he is a lot better than I thought. Its funny how different things can be when you are sober. When I was drunk I thought: his kisses reminded me of a floppy, wet hotdog, his slender limps were really loose and his "member" was very small. When I was sober: he was a better kisser than Lucas, his limps were tight and his "member" is better than Lucas's? To set the record start- anyone who can actually get a boner is better than Lucas for he has a "mushie" weird.
Anywho, forgive me father for I have sin and all the shit. I may or may not have done that for the wrong/right reason but mostly I was just really turned on and just happened to be at Davids house. I know everyone that I have told (my sister, brandi and sammy) have all said they thought I did it to get back at Lucas but just to set the record straight, Lucas has nothing to do with my decisions anymore. Its strange to me how I just woke up two weeks ago and didnt have a loving thought towards Lucas.
I love Lucas and spent a lot of time trying to make him love me but my love is too big for him. I am not IN love with Lucas anymore and I dont think that I will ever been there again. Just as it did with Devin and with every other I have loved, something died inside me that once lived for Lucas.
Sleeping with David was just insurance I guess?
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